Random songs…and thoughts

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS WITH YOU? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY WHEN I’M ALL CHOCKED UP AND YOU’RE OKAY?
IF our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
I’m in here, can anybody see me know?
Coz nothing ever hurt like you
The pieces don’t fit anymore
One last chance
If i loose myself tonight, It’ll be by your side
Somebody that i used to know
We say goodbye in the pouring rain and i break down as you walk away, stayyy
i should go, I’m just a little shaken by whats going on inside
your winter, i don’t want to be anyones excuse to cry
when you get what you want but not what you need,  STUCK IN REVERSE…
I will try to fix you….

Do you ever look at you ex, being all happy with his girl and feel a sting? I mean, does it get you all pissed off that he’s happy and i am not?
When you know that you deserve to be much happier than any of them. Why do bad people get happy endings, when the good ones are suffering. I mean. how is that fair? 
Is it because you expect too much? and even if you lower your expectations, does it make you truly happy? like from the inside…
Like you are happy, as happy as you can get and then pop…. there goes the bubble and your back to square one…all the hurt and sadness comes falling down on you…?
like if you have seen level  10 of happiness, you  can never be happy at level 6, even though all you knew was level 6 and it was enough at that time.
So, being truly happy at a point of time is just bad for you.
Because, it won’t last forever.
And when it goes away, what made you happy earlier just isn’t enough anymore…

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Angel’s story continues here…..

Hello peeps:*
I know i haven’t posted since long, but i was busy with my exams. So i finally got to writing my 2nd chapter in Angel’s story. If you haven’t read the first, check it out on my blog.
Here it goes…

Chapter 2

I was sitting in physics and trying to listen to the professor but I just couldn’t. Today had been very…eventful. I was thinking about Damon and then Duke and then Damon calling me Kitten. Nothing made sense. I could feel my migraine coming on and i just couldn’t wait for the bell to ring so i could get out of here and well, not think. As if god was listening to me then, the bell rang. I stood up collected my books and walked to the door.
As expected, Duke was waiting for me outside the class so that we could walk to lunch together. When Duke transferred here, one day, he just showed up outside my class and walked me to lunch. Since then, it has become kind of ‘our thing’. Initially, people starred but now even they had gotten used to it.
” What happened to you? Is your migraine hitting up again?”
I looked up to him and smiled. Duke always knew if something was wrong with me, he knew me in and out.
” Yeah, i can feel the pain in my eyes, and my head has started throbbing. But I’ll be fine, as soon as i get to art, that is such a stress reliever.”
“Alrighty! I can massage your head if you want me to, that’ll help” said Duke.
I smiled upto his concerned face and said, ” No thanks, D, lets just go for lunch and maybe eating will help to subdue it.”
We walked the rest of the way to the cafeteria quietly. Duke bought his chicken wrap and a soda and i bought a turkey sandwich and orange juice. We walked to our tables and sat in our seats, where Tory was already seated.
Tory was with me in art and was kind of my second bestfriend, you know, after Duke. She was a little tomboyish and wore her copper hair short. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of grey and she was wearing her usual,black leather jacket paired with a skinny jeans and high black boots. The thing about Tory was, even though we were the closest of friend, sometimes she used to get a little jealous since i was closer to Duke. She had this crush on Duke since always and they did have some..umm..uncomfortable moments initially, but now they had fallen into an easy friendship.
Tory, in between bites of her sandwich, started,
“oh man! i can’t wait for art. I have these ideas in my head, just waiting to be painted.”
” You know, even though i don’t have any talent for it, i feel that maybe i should have signed up for art. You two are always talking about how much fun it is and how you cant wait for it, but then i remember, that i cant draw to save my life” said Duke.
I chuckled at him and said, ” I think Mr. Millet will have a heart attack if he ever saw one of your works”
Tory laughed at that and said, ” I think he will just quite teaching art if he ever saw you draw and then……ummm…who is that?”
she pointed at someone behind me, and i just knew that she’s talking about Damon. Duke and i turned around, and turns out, that i was right, There was Damon, walking in, as if he owned the place. As if he felt my stare, he looked up at me and smirked at me. I just looked back in front and pretended that nothing happened. i hate that sexy smirk…i mean smirk.
“Angel, What was that?” said Tory
Before I could deny anything, Duke said, ” That was this new dumbass in our class, who apparently cannot keep it in his pants around Angie”
I get all offended and say, ” That is so not true! stop being a Douchebag, D.”
Duke makes a face and goes like, ” Deny it all you want, but its too obvious.”
I just wanted to end this so i rolled my eyes.
Tory, noticing the whole exchange, ” I just asked for his name, but this is much more interesting!”
I so did not want this conversation to happen, so I said, ” his name is Damon and trust me, there is nothing interesting about him.”
At this exact same moment, Damon crossed us. I kinda expected him to stop and talk to me or atleast acknowledge my presence, but he just walked past me. To my not such a great surprise, went and sat next to that Kate and her minions. I felt as if this was a slap on my face. I guess i kinda expected him to sit next to me. All i could do was look away, insulted, trying to hide my disappointment.
I looked at Duke and saw him watching me. Knowing that he might start another arguement and wanting to stop it, i said,
“Soo Tory, did you get back with Arjun over the summer?”
Arjun was her ex-boyfriend/ neighbour with whom she had this on and off relationship.
” We kind of are back together, but there is no tag as such.” she replied.
“Well, that guy is crazy about you! I wouldn’t loose him if i were you!’
She looked at Duke and smiled sadly, ” I….I just need time! i don’t know what i really feel..”
Duke as if catching up on this, started talking to Tory about her and Arjun. He was always trying to convince her to be with him. I guess he felt guilty about her liking him.
I couldn’t help myself, so i stole a peek in Damon’s direction. He was laughing about something with Kate and although I am sure he felt my gaze upon him, he ignored me. I don’t know why he was acting so strange. I mean one minute you’re all into me and flirting with me and then next you don’t even acknowledge my presence. I looked away irritated and tried to concentrate on my food. I finished off my sandwich in silence and heard the bell ring.
Duke got up and walked me and Tory to our lockers. He helped me with my art supplies, carrying my canvas for me, just like he always does. He sometimes offered to help Tory as well but she generally refused. Whenever i tried to carry it myself he would just push my hand away. Initially, it felt all weird and stuff but then i got used to it. When i objected, he would just say, “its not like I’m doing this for you! It helps me get laid! chicks like this gentlemanly stuff. plus, i get to show off my muscles.”
Duke walked us to art, all the while discussing some drawing that Tory had made and i just stayed out of the discussion. I was like in my silent mode.
As we reached the class, i waved duke goodbye and took my seat, the regular, 2nd row, the right corner and Tory in the middle, next to me. I started washing my brushes and getting all the supplies out when HE walked in.
” Has he lost the way or something? I mean, guys like him, they don’t do art!” said Tory.
i looked at him and then at her and said, “it isn’t any of our business! who cares what he does?”
She ignored me and kept gawking at him. As if noticing her, he set up his canvas next to hers and said, “Hello beautiful, My name is Damon. You don’t mind if i take this spot do you? you see i can’t paint without a nice inspiration and you look pretty enough”
Tory giggled at him, ” I would love, to be your inspiration!”
I couldn’t believe the stupidness of this conversation! Like he is so obviously flirting with her, like he does with any other girl and she is falling for it! Tory out of all the people.
Trying not to make a face, i focused on my canvas.
Professor Millet entered the class and greeted all of us. I was kind of best in here and also his favorite student so it was always great to see him. Noticing the new student aka Damon, he called him in front and started talking to him. I tried not to pay attention to their conversation, zoned out, getting lost in the canvas. I do that, i don’t know the world when I’m painting.
Suddenly, someone called out my name. When i looked up, i saw that Damon and prof M were standing right in front of me, expecting a reply.
“So you cool with this Angel?” Said Prof M
” umm…yeah sure!” i replied, hoping that whatever I just agreed to wasn’t something bad.
” So Damon, you get your supplies set up next to Angel and Tory, you can go and take Damon’s position: louder he said, “Class, today we are going to draw whatever it is that inspires us. Its the first class this year, so i just want all of you to warm up and this will also help us get to know each other better.”
As Damon started setting up his supplies next to me, i cursed inwardly.
I never curse, but then some people get on your nerves and he was one of them. I couldn’t believe that now i’d have to help him, especially after he so conveniently ignored me during lunch.
“Sooo,, kitten, where do we start from? ”
that name. urghhh.
” lets get a few things straight here, first of all, my name is not “kitten” its Angel… A N G E L ( i spelled it put for him) is it that tough to remember? And secondly, You need my help and this is art, so no talking rubbish, if you open your mouth at all, which you probably shouldn’t, it better be about art.”

“ummm…I just asked you where do we start…and as for kitten., we will see..” he replied.
I know i kind of over reacted but he was getting on my nerves and i wasn’t backing down now.
” Just draw what inspires you, or who, i should say” I couldn’t help myself so i made a face.

seeing that, he leaned into me and said, ” my my! aren’t we a little sneaky in here? listening to what others say? thats not what good girls do. and anyways, you aren’t jealous are you? bcoz you surely sound so.”
I looked upto him..and smiled sweetly, ” I have no interest in whatever you say, you see, i have ears and i can’t help if they pick up irritating voice frequencies. And why in this world would i be jealous over you? I have standards you know” ” who said that I’m a good girl?”
He chuckled and said,” hmmm… over me.. that sounds interesting..so, are you a bad girl then kitten? ”
I don’t know how he does that, making a simple conversation so interesting and intense. Trying to come up with a reply, i noticed Tory’s stare and realized how close we were standing, shaking my head, i backed away and
said, ” Why don’t you start drawing something or you’ll have to complete it at home. If you need any help, just try not asking me okay? I like to not talk while i paint.”
he smirked at me and said, ” Sure”
After this, i tried to loose myself in the painting. I was drawing a caterpillar and how that ugly caterpillar turns into a beautiful butterfly. I had made a rough sketch and started to paint it, taking in the beauty of it.
when, who other than Damon, interrupted me and said, “Can i borrow your brown kitten?”
I picked up the brown color and gave it to him, ” Why would you need brown anyway?”
He smiled at me and said, ” how else will i paint your eyes? ”

to be continued.

-Blair<3